Childhood is one of the most common stages of life in which fear appears, as many children suffer from intense fear during sleep. This fear may be accompanied by intense screaming and crying, calls for help, and sudden awakening, which makes the child afraid in his bed.
The second problem that millions of children suffer from is the fear of the dark. The question here is: How did the idea that there is a monster when it is dark get into the child’s brain? How should mothers deal with their children’s fear during and during sleep?
Be a gentle and firm mother
“I don’t want to sleep in my room alone. I’m afraid of the dark. There are monsters that will kidnap me.” These are the repeated words that Jad says daily to his mother, and Lina Nahas – Jad’s mother – tries to calm him down and that nothing is worth this fear, but sitting for long periods of time watching horror movies and terrifying reports about jinn and monsters made him have many nightmares.
This prompted Lina to prevent him from watching these channels and delete them, then make him understand that this is not true and realistic, so that it does not remain in his imagination and affect his psyche.
She was very understanding and patient with him and tried to address and confront this fear in the best way, which is confrontation and that all of these things are not realistic, and to restore his feeling of safety and freedom from anxiety. But this issue took a long time with the help of a psychological therapist, and in the end she succeeded in returning her son to his usual self.
Among the most important things that Lina adopted in treating her son were: Reduce pressure on him by avoiding watching movies that contain horror scenes, talking to him about his problems at school or with friends and trying to solve them, maintaining family stability without any family quarrels occurring in front of him, hugging him frequently to make him feel safe, and reading useful stories to him before bed.
Nahas says, “The mother must be gentle with her son and firm at the same time in order to obtain a positive result that rids her child of the fears he is experiencing during that period.”
Treat fear in sound ways
Social psychology specialist Mona Darwish believes that talking calmly with the child about fear and giving him confidence in his ability to overcome it are very important things. This is what happens by listening to him, talking to him, and telling him that fear is normal and expected of real things.
She continues, “Although we know as adults that ghouls and strange monsters do not exist, a child cannot easily imagine the absurdity of believing in the existence of such frightening things, especially when understanding the many sources of such frightening thoughts entering his mind and thinking.”
The psychologist confirms that “it is natural for the child to become more fearful at night and when sleeping. It is then normal for him to begin to express his need for his mother and his desire to be with her, specifically to sleep near her in her bed. What is required of the mother is to show the child her closeness to him, her surrounding him with care, and the sincerity of her feeling for what he is suffering.” From him, and it is good to make him understand that it is natural for him to look for his mother and safety with her, and that his mother will be with him and next to him. However, the mother must not go too far in responding to his requests, specifically sleeping with her in her bed. She must resist this request gently and kindly, because sleeping in her room permanently It won’t solve the problem.”
Darwish advises trying to uncover the psychological, social and educational problems that the child is experiencing, and the mother must have the utmost patience in dealing with the child.
Screaming, punishment, and neglect are unwise methods, and although they make the mother comfortable, they leave the child disturbed, and sleep disorders may accompany him for life.
In addition to trying to do activities during the day that focus on enhancing the child’s self-confidence, building his personality, and acquiring new skills, and encouraging him to face his fears at bedtime.
Darwish believes that there is no child who does not have a toy or something strongly attached to him. The mother must search for the child’s favorite toy and place it next to him in bed as a companion, and this gives him a feeling of comfort and security.
Darwish points out the common mistakes in treating fear of sleep in children. These methods are widespread, such as the inherited folk methods of teaching a child to sleep on his own, but unfortunately they are among the wrong and failed methods that increase fears and psychological disorders in children, the most important of which are:
– Cleansing the room of monsters: One of the wrong ways to treat a child’s fear when sleeping, which is when the mother resorts to the act of cleansing the room of monsters before sleeping. This method may give the child a feeling of security at the beginning of sleep, but it undoubtedly strengthens his belief in the presence of monsters in his room, and doubles his belief in the presence of monsters in his room. From his fear and increases the chances of night terrors and interrupted sleep due to fear.
– Fixed sleep routine: Maintaining a fixed routine for children, but this is not considered a major part of treating the child’s fear at bedtime. Rather, trying to forcefully impose a sleep routine on the child may contribute to strengthening his fear of sleep.
– Deceiving the child: which is telling him that you will not leave him alone in the room, and that he should only try to sleep, and then you will leave as soon as the child begins to sleep. This method is very bad and causes more harm than good. The child must understand that he will sleep alone, and you can promise to come back to check on him once or twice at night, no more.
– Leaving the TV on in the child’s room: It is not recommended to have sound in the child’s room. You should also avoid relaxation recordings spread on the Internet. The child should sleep in a quiet .room with very dim or dark lighting
Neglect: Many parents believe that leaving the child alone to deal with his fears and treat himself by himself is the ideal solution, but the truth is that neglecting the child and letting him live with his fear of the dark, monsters, and evil people may help him devise a solution, but this solution may cause more serious disorders.
