Children usually express themselves openly, whether they feel love, sadness, jealousy, or other feelings. Jealousy is a very common emotion in children, which arises as a result of the fear of losing the love of their parents and the attention of their caregivers. So, is feeling jealous normal for children? How can we deal with this type of feelings?
What is jealousy in children?
Psychologically, jealousy in children is defined as a complex defensive reaction, composed of different feelings, such as possessiveness and anger. It arises when a child feels threatened by the loss of his or her privileges, such as, for example, about sharing his or her parents’ love and affection with another individual, such as a new sibling, or inferiority toward another strange child who has something he does not have, or jealousy over his friend’s getting better grades in the classroom, or Any other situation in which the child is not the focus of attention.
How do your actions contribute to generating feelings of jealousy in your child?
Parents’ behavior may be a major reason for generating feelings of jealousy in their child. Here are the most important aspects of parenting that are best avoided:
– Comparing your child to others.
– Creating an unhealthy competitive environment.
– Paying attention to one child more than others.
– Unjustified control over his decisions.
– Overprotection.
– Excessive pampering.
How does a jealous child feel?
Several different emotions govern your child’s feelings of jealousy. Among the most prominent are:
– Low sense of self-confidence.
– Aggression towards his peers.
– Feeling helpless.
– Tendency to tyranny.
– Isolation.
What are the forms of jealousy in children?
There are several forms of jealousy in children. The most important of them are:
Material jealousy
When your child feels jealous that another child has something or a toy that he does not have.
Academic jealousy
Your child may sometimes feel jealous of a child who is better than him in the classroom. This jealousy has a positive side that may push him to compete, but if it is not directed properly, it becomes a bad habit.
Social jealousy
Your child, even in his early stages of development, can distinguish between the social levels of his peers, through elements that help him recognize them. For example, a child feels jealous of the lifestyle of his friend who lives in a large house, compared to his own smaller house.
Brother’s jealousy
This jealousy is one of the most common types of jealousy among children, as it is natural for your child to feel jealous when a new child shares love, attention, and affection with him.
Is jealousy normal in children?
Jealousy in children is among the most common feelings, which disappears over time. Therefore, if you notice that your child is behaving similar to what was mentioned, know that this is normal and does not require you to take strict action against him.
How do you deal with your jealous child?
You can take simple measures to help your child quickly get rid of feelings of jealousy. The most important of them are:
Encourage your child to focus on himself
When your child feels jealous of a classmate who got higher grades than him in the classroom, for example, contain him and redirect his focus toward himself. Teach him that his excellence in studies concerns him alone, and that there is no room for comparisons in such cases.
Urge him to love others
When your child’s focus is directed towards himself, his view of those around him automatically changes, as his feelings of competition with them decrease, and his feelings of competition between him and himself increase. He thus becomes reconciled with the differences he witnesses, without arousing feelings of jealousy within him, as was the case before.
Learn the basic cause of jealousy
Talk to your child and find out why he is jealous of a certain person, then listen to him without making any judgment. There may be instances where your child feels unsure of himself, and you should start helping him boost his self-confidence.
Don’t compare your child to others
Never compare your child with his siblings or friends, because this does not help your child work seriously, but rather increases his dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.
Focus on your child’s strengths
Talking about your child’s strengths builds his self-esteem. You can focus your attention on your child’s efforts as well, rather than comparing his or her performance to that of others. Teach your child that the goal is not to be better than others, but to try to be the best version of himself.
